Absence

Virginia returned to Paris on Sunday (arrival Monday) and for the past few days I have been feeling listless, unmotivated, bored at best and sometimes down and blue. We've been chatting via Gmail and talking briefly on the phone--today we had our first opportunity for longer conversation during my lunch break. Hearing her on the phone was wonderful, but I miss her physical presence. We're both a little scared about this whole experience, too. For me, this is the first time I've really really been in love and had a solid foundation for a long distance relationship, and that, oddly, makes me more frightened: I don't want to lose Virginia. Deep down I know I won't, and I know we'll make it through whatever sort of long distance relationship we have--but surface worries and my definite lack of solutions that encompass all of my major worries right now (how do I get to be near V again, how do I get a solid job that pays me well, how do I make that job a teaching job that furthers my professional ambitions) make for a rough time.

Thankfully, V and I have already arranged our first visit. I'm going to London and Paris to see her during the last two weeks of July (13 to 30), and she's going to show me around. Yay! We've also been following the very practical and reassuring advice of Julia and Angus, who carried on a 2-year LDR across the Atlantic before marrying, which made it possible for her to emigrate to Gloucestershire to be with him. (That wasn't the only reason they married. They recently visited me for graduation, and it was a lot of fun to see how in love they are, and how much fun they have with each other. It was inspiring.)